hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My bed smells like the plague
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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