there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
