Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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