Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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