I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
