well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
