You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
