Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
ok first of all what the fuck
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
