I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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