ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
