do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I still have a little drunk in my system
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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