she kept yelling 'call me bella'
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
