So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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