Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
well you can't waste a boner
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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