he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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