dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
