i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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