Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
