Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
