New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
