So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
