Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
