I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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