there's paper in my vomit.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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