She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
They have beer where we have blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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