The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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