smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
