The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
