Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize