Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize