I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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