A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Are we still banned from the library?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?