That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
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I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
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We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.