Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.