you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
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Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
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New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died