When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
