i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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