im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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