So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
