I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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