he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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