He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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