I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
