im having a threesome with these popsicles
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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