some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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