the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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