Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
