ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
