how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
