went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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