Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
