i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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