do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
