When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Farmville is her only friend.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
