He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
