If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We're too hungover to prance.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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