Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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