the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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