Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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