that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
