do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i will never coherently bang her
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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