I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
