Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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