is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
