So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
