I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
