We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
